FAQ

What happens if a loved one dies away from home?

This is a common concern and does happen from time to time.

Who should I call? You should always call the funeral home you intend to handle the services, even if they are not in the area where the death occurred. For example: When someone has just passed away in another area such as Minneapolis or Arizona, a family may call the Brooks Funeral Home in Langdon, ND, who will arrange for the person to be picked up from the place of death and returned home.

Will there be a delay in the funeral services? The process of returning someone home works smoothly when one funeral home is in charge of the transportation and the services. There is rarely a significant delay.

Do we need to have the person in a casket to fly them home? No, there are items made especially for returning people home on airplanes. A casket is not necessary.

Will it be troublesome to arrange for a funeral for a loved one if I don’t live there?

Many children have moved away from the area, and perhaps their parents have even moved as well, though they want their funeral to be in their home church and in their home area. It is common for families living away from the area to arrange for services. Much of the information needed at the time of arrangements can be communicated easily from a distance. Biographical information for the obituary and arranging for the services are commonly communicated via telephone, fax and even e-mail.

When do we purchase a memorial?

Some families purchase a memorial at the time of a death in the family. Others wish to arrange for their memorial before they pass away. Some place their memorial in the cemetery ahead of time so their children do not need to deal with arranging for one. The other benefit to pre-arranging, is that the grave is always marked. When a family orders a memorial after the death has occurred, there is a period of time between the burial and when the memorial arrives that the grave is unmarked.

Can we place a stone in the cemetery for a loved one even though we scattered the ashes? Yes, the cemeteries of this area allow you to place a marker on your lot even if the person is not buried there. This can be a way of honoring a loved ones wishes to have their ashes scattered while allowing your family to have a permanent memorial to them, a place to go to remember them, a place to put flowers.

Are my options a full traditional funeral with burial or direct cremation with a memorial service?

Absolutely not. It is a common misconception that those are your options, and it is important that families know that there are not rules to that effect. Families should choose the combination of services and disposition that best fit their needs. A traditional funeral with cremation following in place of burial is an option. Some family members die having stated they wanted to be cremated and their family assumes that means they can’t spend time saying goodbye or even having a funeral. The person who has died must be respected, and the people who remain must have their needs attended to as well. The funeral should care for both the deceased and their family. Trying to fit into just two options does not always allow that to take place. Each family is unique - therefore each service and interment should be unique.

I want to spare my children sadness, so I have chosen to be directly cremated, and not have a funeral that would make them sad. Is that ok?

While your intentions are good, you may actually be robbing them of the opportunity to be comforted in their loss.

It is the fact that someone we loved has died that makes us sad, not the funeral. The funeral is what helps us deal with the loss. The funeral provides an opportunity for us to acknowledge that we have lost someone important to us (which is vital in the grief process), an opportunity for our friends and family to come together and support each other, and an opportunity for us to honor and remember a life that has touched us and will be missed.

It has been said that the only thing more sad than a funeral is the thought of simply going back to work the next day after a loved one dies. Going on with life and our daily routine without ever acknowledging that something significant has occurred, to cover up our hurt and our loss and not receive comfort, and to not take the time to stop, remember and honor; that would truly be sad.