What happens if a loved one dies away from home?
This is a common concern and does happen from time to time.
Who should I call? You should always call the funeral home you intend to handle
the services, even if they are not in the area where the death occurred. For
example: When someone has just passed away in another area such as Minneapolis
or Arizona, a family may call the Brooks Funeral Home in Langdon, ND, who will
arrange for the person to be picked up from the place of death and returned home.
Will there be a delay in the funeral services? The process of returning someone
home works smoothly when one funeral home is in charge of the transportation
and the services. There is rarely a significant delay.
Do we need to have the person in a casket to fly them home? No, there are items
made especially for returning people home on airplanes. A casket is not necessary.
Will it be troublesome to arrange for a funeral for
a loved one if I don’t
Many children have moved away from the area, and perhaps their parents have
even moved as well, though they want their funeral to be in their home church
and in their home area. It is common for families living away from the area
to arrange for services. Much of the information needed at the time of arrangements
can be communicated easily from a distance. Biographical information for
the obituary and arranging for the services are commonly communicated via
telephone, fax and even e-mail.
When do we purchase a memorial?
Some families purchase a memorial at the time of a death in the family. Others
wish to arrange for their memorial before they pass away. Some
place their memorial in the cemetery ahead of time so their children do not
need to deal with arranging for one. The other benefit to pre-arranging,
is that the grave is always marked. When a family orders a memorial after
the death has occurred, there is a period of time between the burial and
when the memorial arrives that the grave is unmarked.
Can we place a stone in the cemetery for a loved one even though we scattered
the ashes? Yes, the cemeteries of this area allow you to place a marker on
your lot even if the person is not buried there. This can be a way of honoring
a loved ones wishes to have their ashes scattered while allowing your family
to have a permanent memorial to them, a place to go to remember them, a place
to put flowers.
Are my options a full traditional funeral with burial or direct cremation
with a memorial service?
Absolutely not. It is a common misconception that those are
your options, and it is important that families know that there are not rules
to that effect.
Families should choose the combination of services and disposition that best
fit their needs. A traditional funeral with cremation following in place
of burial is an option. Some family members die having stated they wanted
to be cremated and their family assumes that means they can’t spend
time saying goodbye or even having a funeral. The person who has died must
be respected, and the people who remain must have their needs attended to
as well. The funeral should care for both the deceased and their family.
Trying to fit into just two options does not always allow that to take place.
Each family is unique - therefore each service and interment should be unique.
I want to spare my children sadness, so I have chosen to be directly
and not have a funeral that would make them sad. Is that ok?
intentions are good, you may actually be robbing them of the opportunity
to be comforted in their loss.
It is the fact that someone we loved has died that makes us sad, not the
funeral. The funeral is what helps us deal with the loss. The funeral provides
an opportunity for us to acknowledge that we have lost someone important
to us (which is vital in the grief process), an opportunity for our friends
and family to come together and support each other, and an opportunity for
us to honor and remember a life that has touched us and will be missed.
It has been said that the only thing more sad than a funeral is the thought
of simply going back to work the next day after a loved one dies. Going
on with life and our daily routine without ever acknowledging that something
significant has occurred, to cover up our hurt and our loss and not receive
comfort, and to not take the time to stop, remember and honor; that would
truly be sad.
My loved one passed away and now that time has passed, I need some additional death certificates. Where do I get them?
For additional death certificates, you can easily order one through the North Dakota Vital Records website – www.ndhealth.gov . On this page- look on the right-hand side of the page and click on birth/death certificates. Then click on death certificates in about the same spot on this page. As you read, down, you just need to supply one proof of identity and the other information needed. You will want to order a Certificate of Death. After the graph showing the costs, there is a link to do an internet application where they will ask for your information, payment method and give you instructions on how to send your proof of identification. This is the fastest way for you to get it because it is sent right to you.